I hate wisdom teeth removal. End of story.

My mouth huuuuuuurts.

And it totally makes me not want to write anything, even though I should be working on those stories I wanted to finish this summer (which will probably happen for one of them, but not so much the other...ALTHOUGH I HAVE IT OUTLINED hahahahaaaaaaa yeah).

Instead, what have I been doing?

I've been watching illegally-uploaded-to-YouTube Kim Possible episodes. And ANIME. (In my defense for the anime, it was only four episodes (so far...since it's new) and it's from the only series I'd bother watching nowadays...and that's just because it was the inspiration for The Eleventh.)

...I have no defense for Kim Possible, though...haha, it was kind of cool since I didn't know they made a fourth season, so there are TONS of episodes I've never watched. Like...Kim and Ron? TOGETHER? SERIOUSLY? Didn't think they were gonna make a whole season with that! But they did.

Although I gotta say, I did like Ron/Yori... :( But they weren't "meant to be", like I guess Kim and Ron are (no duh, right?) Drakken/Shego kind of freaks me out now, though, even though I think I used to think they would be cute together. But that was when I was ten. Now that I think about it, it's kind of...disturbing. And they only have one real "moment" together - personally, I think Shego would be better of with someone else. And Drakken, but I can't think of anybody in the show who'd be good for him. I can with Shego, though.

But enough about that.

(Though I gotta add: FELIX/ZITA! Aaaaah adorable, adorable, ADORABLE! Also, Junior/Bonnie...hahaha, wow, they are perfect together.)

So yep.

I'm not even reading chick lit...I'm watching Kim Possible. DID YOU KNOW THAT SKY HIGH AND KIM POSSIBLE WERE WRITTEN/CREATED BY THE SAME PEOPLE? I did not know that, but now that I do, it kind of explains a lot. And Mister Barkin was voiced by Patrick Warburton! Hahaaaaaaa wow!

...So, um, why did I write this, again?

The Ramifications of Chick Lit

Okay, so I'm currently ~15 pages from finishing one of the two chick lit books I checked out when I went to the library again today (but forgot to bring one of the books back that I'd checked out before - oops!), and even though I was going to go to bed before midnight in an effort to shift myself back to a normal sleep schedule...I got sucked in and I couldn't stop reading! I have to finish it tonight.

So why am I writing this?

It's because I'm reading The Cinderella Pact by Sarah Strohmeyer, which is partly about three woman vowing to lose weight and keep it off (therefore becoming sexier and happier and healthier and yadda yadda) in six months. And it's got me all enthusiastic to try the same thing, even though I'm not obese.

Or, like, I'm not obese but sometimes I FEEL obese. And not just the "ohmigod I just looked in the mirror and I'm SO UGLY why would anybody associate with me" kind of "I feel obese" because I'm pretty sure everybody feels like that. Or, at least, everybody who is female. You know. Mirror phobia and all that. (Or camera phobia for those of us who aren't ridiculously photogenic without trying...or at all...)

It's more like...I just feel heavy. And flabby. Like it's restricting my movement, weighing me down, giving me an unflattering figure, and making me breath harder just to do something normal. It's not like I don't work out - I started going to the gym again, so hopefully that'll help - but it's like...I dunno. I don't like it, though, cuz I don't FEEL good. Screw looks - this is something else.

So I'll cut to the chase: I have a "curvy tummy" as they say in Seventeen magazine, and it's getting in my way. I don't want this tummy! I want - er, well, I would LIKE abs of steel, but I don't think "abs of steel" and "Anne Ciccarelli" will ever go together - but I want something that doesn't feel like its weighing me down and splashing out everywhere. Especially now with all the fashions - they're so flowy around the middle and cinched at the waist. A curvy tummy does not work with these! So it's like I can never go to a store and buy something. I'm a bad shopper, but like, I got a gift card for Anthropologie and I really wanted to get something...

But nothing looked good! And while it wasn't ALL because of my curvy tummy - some of them just didn't work with my wide shoulders or were just kind of weirdly shaped to begin with - it doesn't help!

Then I went to Gap and saw a dress I LOVED. It's like my number one sin - dress lust. Seriously. I LOVE LOVE LOVE dresses, but I can never wear them without feeling like everyone's judging me or that they only show off the worst parts of me.

BUT I LOVED THIS DRESS. They had it in two colors, and I think I liked the two-tone brown one better, but the navy-and-black one was cute, too. I mean, if I could just find some cute brown flats, I could totally wear that brown dress! (Or I could just use black flats I own from band and wear the blue-black one...)

Except it was the absolute WORST kind of dress for my curvy tummy. I couldn't even try the stupid thing ON, even in the seclusion of the dressing room. I could just stare at it and luuuuuuust. It's like prom season all over again. I stare at dresses, but I never get to wear them. The last time I bought a dress that I actually WORE was for homecoming in FRIGGIN NINTH GRADE.

So I've decided!

Enough of not wearing dresses! Or, at least, not having a good tummy for dresses!

I want that brown dress! (Or the blue-black one, since I already have shoes for it.)

So...I don't know how...but I'm going to kill the curvy tummy. Or at least get it under control. I'm going to start each day by doing crunches until it kills me (er...maybe I'll just start off with 20 and work my way up...) And I'll do push-ups, too, although that won't help the tummy. But it can't hurt, right? And I'll keep going to the gym. Maybe I'll run in the morning OUTSIDE (I've never had enough confidence to do this since I can't run for more than fifteen minutes on a treadmill).

I dunno.

But I want that dress. Even if it has a 99.9999% of being horribly out-of-fashion in like, two weeks...I don't care. I at least want to be able to walk into freaking GAP and try on a dress I think looks cute.

Because I want to be able to wear a dress. :) Screw prom and Cinderella fantasies, a casual one will work just fine.

(Okay, now I'm going to go finish that book and GO TO SLEEP because it is waaaay past my bedtime. And crap, I should have written this in my journal...I wonder how long it'll be before I cave and just print out blogs and things? Haha. I'm just a fast typer! Can't deny that. :) Anyway...even though nobody reads this but me...bye bye! Sleep tight. I'll dream of myself in a beautiful dress I'll never wear tonight.)

About that novel...

So I decided to be more nostalgic this summer and write an "juvenile" story. Two of them, actually. ;) Of course I won't be posting about them, because they're embarrassing that way. Even though I'm an adult, I guess it's just hard to shake off the kinds of stories I liked to write as a child. After this, I promise I'll write more mature things.

But for now, I'm just gonna have fun and pretend I'm still a kid. I mean, hey, a novel's a novel, bottom line.

It'll be our little secret. ;)